At SHEROES we speak to a lot of new moms that feel the loss of their old life and connectivity. Loneliness sits in when they get disconnected from their identity as working women to new mothers solely focused on a baby. One of the most common questions I get as a LoveDoctor involves how to beat loneliness. Many people think the only solution to loneliness is to be in a relationship, but that’s just not true. Sometimes you feel lonely but it’s not the right time to get into a serious relationship.
The first thing to recognize is that loneliness is normal. We all feel that way at some point in time in life, and there are steps you can take to ways to beat loneliness and feel more connected.
1. Don’t isolate yourself
Loneliness only breeds more loneliness. Make a concerted effort to reach out to the people that you care about and that care about you. You may feel you are being a burden but most of the time that is all in the head.
2. Get to know yourself a bit better
Focus on activities that make you feel like your best self, whatever that is. Ask yourself what brings you joy and do those things. I’m a big fan of live music so sometimes I pop to the local joint to catch a jazz band or a Sufi singer. it makes me feel more alive, even if I’m lonely.
3. Treat yourself well.
Be kind to yourself. When you’re in a cycle of loneliness it’s easy to put yourself down and fall into a vicious cycle of beating yourself up, feeling worse, and that causing more isolation and loneliness. Any time you speak badly about yourself you are inflicting violence, treat yourself well.
disconnected? As we age, it becomes increasingly difficult to make new friends”real friends, I mean. That feeling of belonging begins to become more elusive.
I think there’s a phenomena that occurs in one’s 30s and 40s where everyone becomes more involved in their own lives”whether it’s with their husbands, families, careers or otherwise”and connecting with other women is just not as easy.
Feeling special, cherished and connected can be difficult. Recently I was feeling this way, which caused me to think, how can I meet new people? Here are five ideas I’ve come up with:
1. Look into local meet-up groups.
I was visiting my cousin in Florida and over dinner she was telling me about a meet-up group her and her husband joined to meet other couples. Genius! As soon as I got home, I joined a hiking meet-up group. I can’t wait for my first outing.
2. Get involved in a cause.
Do you feel passionate about your political beliefs? Helping the environment? Assisting the less fortunate? Do an online search of local organizations and attend an informational meeting.
3. Take a class or join an athletic league.
Are you the creative type? How about signing up for a painting or pottery class? More athletic? Try a local sports league or sign up for tennis lessons.
4. Get spiritual.
Feeling connected is especially accessible in an environment where that is the goal of the gathering. Have you thought about going to a group meditation or a religious event? How about an intimate yoga class or a nature walk? Find a time and make a date with yourself. You’re worth it!
5. Say yes!
This is more of an attitude than an activity. When people ask you to join them for an outing or an event, say yes! Even if it doesn’t seem exciting at first, you never know who you will end up meeting or what opportunities it may lead to. Being open invites others into your life.
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